Five Reasons Couples Seek Counseling
09/30/2008 05:00PM ● Published by Super Admin
Few of us are “naturals” at dealing with conflict. Too often couples focus on the details of the conflict and go round and round, digging a deeper and deeper rut that erodes their goodwill and leaves the problem unsolved.
A therapist has the job of helping you see beyond the details. They’ll have you pay attention to the way in which you both talk about the conflict. You’re going to have countless disagreements over the life of a relationship. If your style of handling them is lacking, you don’t have a chance. You can afford to have some unsolved issues. But, you can’t afford to destroy your connection a little each time you try to talk them over.
2. “I don’t know if we should stay together.”
At the start of therapy, many couples have no idea whether they really want to continue the relationship. Some couples are afraid to say this out loud, but are thinking it. Other times, one partner desperately wants to work on things, and the other person is so burned out or angry that they can’t honestly make that commitment at the start. In my opinion that’s fine. It’s honest and doesn’t mean you can’t do the work. Making a commitment to show up, speak up (with respect) and listen up is enough to start.
For the other reasons Dr. Deb says couples seek therapy, be sure to pick up this month's copy of Style-Roseville Granite Bay Rocklin edition. Click on the "Get Your Copy" link on the bottom of this page for some of our newsstand locations. Or, to order a copy of this issue, please email Gloria Schroeder at email@example.com, or call her at 916-988-9888 x116.